Here we are. Another year. Another chance at self-renewal. Now is the time to mend relationships and friendships. Making the effort to be friends with another human being is a challenge in today’s social media environment. Cell phone friendships can create the illusion of a human connection while actually undermining the depth of a friendship.
In the 1970s, there were no cell phones, people had to talk face-to-face. There was more of a human connection. Having lunch with my 1970s group, we discussed the quality of friendships and how in the past, people actually had to sit and listen to each other’s conversation without interruption. If you go to a restaurant today and observe a group eating together, there is a good chance that half of the group will be on their cell phones. As such, the quality of the conversation suffers.
By the time one reaches adulthood, your circle of friends have diminished. Many of my friends have expired for one reason or another, some moved away, or I moved away. When my close friends died, I was terribly sad as well as angry. Losing a friend involves examining the complexities of connection and bonding. For me, making new friends is a difficult task. Men have a hard time making friends. A lot of male stereotypes exist about being strong, not showing or sharing your feelings, no touching, don’t appear vulnerable, be tough. Then guarding yourself from being transparent and allowing your true self to be seen.
During our lunch, the group discussed how friendships add to your emotional well-being. Friends provide comfort, support, and help to overcome life challenges. Relationships cultivate happiness, reduces stress, increases mental health, and emotional well-being, while enhancing overall health and wellness. During tough times, friends provide guidance, reduce loneliness and increase emotional resilience. We all agreed that with friends you have a group I.Q. working for you. A friend of mine calls this fellowship. Call it friendship or fellowship trust and respect are the foundation of a solid and stable friendship.
It is sad to see my friends suffer and lose their ability to be self-sustaining due to mental or physical disabilities, or self-inflicted substance abuse. The day after the 70s group lunch, I learned that one of our dear friends had suddenly succumbed to cancer. A truly sobering moment. Aging comes with a price; a life tax has to be paid. When my friendships diminish, I become lonely due to the physical isolation and a sense of disconnection. I’m losing a genuine connection based on mutual vulnerability, trust and support. One of my closest friends has Alzheimer’s, as well as my oldest sister. Two people in my life who have been my solid support, their condition forces me into a deeper introspection of my life. Growth
Despite my social connections on all the social media sites, I still struggle with a lack of depth and authenticity. We can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. However, the power of the human spirit cannot be underestimated. As hope springs eternal, what saves the day are the three universal languages of life: music, money and love. With love being the most important. Love unites us and nourishes the soul and encourages compassion and a sense of hope. Love connects all of humanity, stimulates our spirit, and creates harmony.
During the year, embrace the impermanence and fragility of friendships and life itself. Take the time to appreciate the natural beauty of life, nature, and your role in the dance of life. Strive to be compassionate, understanding, and tolerant of others. Invest in nurturing positive relationships with family and friends, while being with people who uplift and motivate you. Embrace the tenuousness of friendships with its joys and sorrows. Be kind to others. Your simple smile can have a ripple effect toward creating a joyful society. Strive for self-improvement and be an agent for positive change and personal development. And love and cherish the ones you’re with.
About the Author:
Hilary Valdez is a freelancer living in Tokyo, Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at his website or email (InstantInsights@hotmail.com). Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.
Comments